My True Fitness Story

There’s a lot of things I’ve been wanting to write about regarding my fitness story. I apologize for this lengthy, slightly rambling post, but there’s some things I want to get off my chest and thoughts I want to share with you all.

Before I became a personal trainer I went to a handful of “free personal training” sessions at my gym– those sessions where they ask you a bunch of questions about your health, nutrition and fitness goals then take you through a workout and at the end tell you about how much personal training costs.

While I was working at a gym as a personal trainer I stood on the other side of those “free personal training” sessions. I’ asked those questions and took prospective client through a workout and finished with the spiel about  pricing.

The part that always irks me? What are your current fitness goals.

It’s a question my co-workers at the gym constantly asked me, a question I was asked today by a fitness friend. I don’t have an answer.

Yes, I am a very goal oriented person. I like accomplishing tasks and making checklists.

but I don’t have a specific and measurable fitness goal.

I’m fully aware that many people work out to lose weight. Of course I applaud them for deciding to change their lives and as a personal trainer I want more than anything to help them achieve their goals.

But what about the rest of us?

The group that loves to sweat. The group that plans their social life around their favorite zumba class. The group that follows their favorite instructor on twitter. The group that wakes up at the crack of dawn to workout. The group that anxiously awaits spin class sign ups for the fancy studios of Manhattan. The group that actually does the workouts they pinned on pinterest. We exist. And I know I’m not the only one.

Do I wanna look hot? Who doesn’t. Do I wanna be strong? Heck yeah. But I also workout for the sake of working out. I simply love fitness. I love taking a zumba class. I love spinning. I love getting my butt kicked in a bootcamp class. I love lifting weights while listening to a Jillian Michaels podcast. I love challenging my body and mind in yoga.

A lot of the personal trainers I have met recently don’t quite understand that concept. They look at me confused when I say that I’ve never ever played a team sport growing up yet I have a passion for fitness. They keep trying to figure out what my fitness goals are and are baffled when I say I don’t have one.

Can you work out without a specific goal?

Yeah.

Would I like to have less body fat? Yes. Look better in a bikini? Yes. But ultimately I don’t care about those things when I’m working out. Losing body fat won’t change my life. Looking better in a bikini won’t change my life. These are not goals I am actively working towards achieving.

And I realize that what I’m saying is slightly contradictory because I do vaguely have a goal when I work out: to feel better.

My fitness journey doesn’t have a before and after picture. I don’t have an amazing weight loss journey to talk about. I can’t measure how far I’ve come with a number on the scale or by the size of my jeans. I weigh what I’ve always weighed and I’m wearing the same size I’ve always worn.

My arms are now more sculpted now than they were when I graduated high school… But that’s not the point.

I always led an active life. I grew up dancing, doing karate and performing. I was required to take movement and dance classes as a drama major in college. Every so often freshman my college bff and I would venture to the NYU gym where I’d work out on the cardio machines and do some basic weight lifting.

It wasn’t until Fall of the sophomore year that going to the gym became a daily thing. The second year curriculum at my theater school was incredibly grueling- we were in class for over 30 hours a week (not counting academics) and required to work on at least 3 shows during fall semester in addition to rehearsing for all our classes. The workload didn’t even feel worth it because I was so unhappy with the philosophy of my theater program. On top of college stress my grandma was incredibly sick, something that was devastating for my tight-knit family. And on top of all that I was dealing with crap from a guy I used to date.

It was a lot on my plate.

So I started going to the NYU gym. When I was there nothing could bother me— my classmates couldn’t text me about rehearsing, I couldn’t worry about all the lines I had to memorize and I couldn’t fall apart about my ex. Going to the gym became my escape from reality during that fall semester when I felt like my life was falling apart.

During my sophomore year of college it wasn’t about a fitness goal. It was all about procrastinating and running away from life. The gym was my safe, happy place where my problems couldn’t find me.

Junior year I decided to join a nearby gym so I could take advantage of their group fitness classes. Paying for that gym membership meant I had to go there and I fell in love with pilates and the grueling conditioning classes.

It was during my senior year of college I noticed the real shift in my life thanks to fitness. For as long as I can remember I’ve been an anxious person. My anxiety has crippled me socially throughout my life. The thought of taking medication to help alleviate the pain has never been enticing to me because I just can’t bring myself to regulate the problem with chemicals, although I know that meds have provided relief to many people similar to me.

Spring semester of senior year I started exercising in the morning– it was the only time of day I could consistently workout with no excuses. Once I started working out every morning before school I began to really feel the difference mentally. I didn’t feel so plagued with anxiety throughout my day.

I may never be anxiety free– I’m an uptight person who clenches her jaw and anticipates negative outcomes, but working out has made it possible for me to lead a more “normal” life.

Yes, I decided to pursue my passion for fitness and become a personal trainer because I want to help people achieve their goals, but also because I want to share with others the fact that fitness is about so much more than measurable goals and weight loss.

Fitness raised my self confidence.

Fitness helped me deal with stress.

Fitness continues to help me deal with my anxiety.

And I truly enjoy working out for the sake of working out.

I want to spread the word that working out is about so much more than losing weight, how much body fat you have and what size you are. When I was working as a personal trainer at a gym I felt like I was losing sight of my own personal fitness philosophy and why I wanted to become a fitness professional.

I feel incredibly lucky to have taken classes with countless amazing instructors in New York, Los Angeles and Westchester that share the same mindset. These are the instructors who inspire me and the ones I look up to as a new personal trainer / group fitness instructor. Not those trainers that I’ve met who seem so obsessed with measurable fitness goals.

Next month I will be launching my own fitness class “Boot Camp Blast” a hybrid zumba and strength training boot camp that I am creating. While yeah, I wanna make people sweat, I also want to inspire them the way my favorite instructors have inspired me. There’s nothing wrong with working out for the sake of working out.

and ultimately I want to give people a place to run away from real life and sweat away the stress.

Thank you all for listening.

what’s your true fitness story?