I am now a graduate of New York University’s Tisch School of the Arts with a B.F.A. in Drama
ANDDDD 22 years old!
I find it nearly impossible to capture in words the emotions of my 22nd birthday & college graduation, but I hope the permanent smile on my face says it all.
I couldn’t have asked for a more incredible day of celebrating with loved ones, family and friends.
uh, graduabirthday is TOMORROW? WHAT. it feels like just yesterday I was an itty bitty freshman (and by itty bitty I mean the exact same height as I am now…) moving into Hayden Hall with my parents, anxious and excited to begin my college journey. In some ways it went by super fast, in other ways it has definitely been four long years.
This awkward limbo week with no homework or finals has been absolutely crazy with workouts, yoga, friends visiting, end of year parties, and a brief trip home to Westchester.
Here’s what’s been going down, and how the challenge is going:
Thursday (day 10)
Day 10 was a $1 Karma Yoga class at Yoga Vida. $1 yoga? sweeeeeet. The class is taught by a recent graduate of the yoga teacher program. I am deeply considering attending the teacher training at Vida in the near future, so it was awesome to see the final product of the program and take a class with one of the new teachers. The class was pretty basic, no crazy inversions, but that is perfect for me and my arm at the moment. It gave me a really good feeling about the teacher training program and even more incentive to sign up in the future.
Thursday night was my friends birthday and a trip to DINO BBQ! nom nom nom. I’ve never been to Dino BBQ, but people are OBSESSED with this place. I’m not a huge bbq gal, but this food was awesome, the portions were epic, and the price was great for college students. I highly recommend taking this trip way up town for some delicious food
bbq chicken, totes worth the food baby
Friday (day 11)
Woahhhh we’re half way there!
Friday’s class was a super awesome and inspirational one at yoga vida. The instructor explained that we are going to focus on “pratyahara” today. She explained it as going from the inside out instead of the other way around. So often we look for happiness in outside things– possessions, boyfriends, material goods, etc, when really we are our own source of happiness.
I really connect with this concept, especially after reading “The Happiness Project” last summer and taking “The Science of Happiness” at nyu this semester. It is easy to blame other things for our unhappiness. I had always been super convinced that having a boyfriend would make me happy and solve all my problems. Last summer I realized though that in order to even “get” the boyfriend, to make that connection with someone else, I had to be happy to begin with. I am seriously convinced that this is why my boyfriend and I did get together at the end of last summer- happy people are simply more attractive, more fun to be around, and the people you want to have a relationship with. If I hadn’t spent the summer laughing, smiling, confident and focusing on having the greatest summer of my life, I don’t think this relationship would have happened.
This is also true with material goods– We all want the newest iPhone, the best gadgets, things that we think will make us happy. But then an even newer, better version comes out, and we are once again sad.
I am a strong believer than money does not bring happiness. You can own all the possessions in the world, but nothing can buy that true key to happiness– human connection, and the ability to find happiness from within.
What I wonder is, does that mean outside things can’t also ultimately make us “sad” or the opposite of happy?
I know death, trauma, etc, can make us unhappy (and justifiably so), but if going on that principle of finding happiness from within, does that also mean we can only find sadness from within?
Saturday (day 12)
Day 12 was a sleep walking through class kinda class. I just kept telling myself to push through.
Sunday (day 13)
On sunday I decided to stay after zumba for Buddha Belly at Crunch. The class was a sort of yogalates fusion combing moves from both vocabularies. While I enjoyed the class, I slightly regretted not going to one of the vinyasa classes I am more accustomed to. I found myself stressed about not doing the moves and poses correctly since a lot of them were new to me, compared to when I can go into full on “I AM FOCUSING ON MY BREATH” mode in a flow class because I know ultimately how to position my body
And it was mothers day! On Friday I left flowers and cupcakes in my parents apartment to surprise them when they arrived that night. I absolutely adore my mama and cannot even begin to thank her for putting up with me…..
For mothers day my family did what my family does best– we went to see a broadway musical! For the past 10 years we have been mega fans of the incredibly talented Raul Esparza, so we knew seeing his new show “Leap of Faith” would be something that made the whole family happy.
Ironically we ended up with tickets to the closing performance of the show. My family loved the show, based on the movie, that reminded us a lot of “The Music Man” meets the energy of Footloose. so sad to see it close
Even better than the show was stagedooring afterwards, where Raul recognized my brother and I. You know you’ve stagedoored too many times with the actor remembers you….
ya know, two NYU Tisch, Playwrights Horizons Graduates 🙂
can’t wait to see what his next project is
Monday (day 14)
When I decided to do a 22 Day Yoga Challenge I knew there were some possible “problem days”. One is tomorrow, Graduabirthday, because I am still not sure how the timing will work out with everything.
The other problem? Knowing I would finally be getting my shoulder checked out and a less than pleasant arthogram.
As someone will a bit of a needle phobia the thought of having a needle stuck into my shoulder joint made me queasy when I found out about the procedure a month ago. While the MRI part didn’t scare me (ya know, just lie in a machine and listen to showtunes, no big!) I was incredibly anxious about getting the dye injected into my shoulder.
Day 14 was my version of Yoga, willing myself to not going into full panic attack mode, keeping my body relaxed, and remaining as calm as possible to make the procedure easier for both the doctor and myself. I like to think that this is what the whole challenge as been about, finding a way to cope with anxiety inducing situations while avoiding full on freak outs.
and I did it! and being the “teachers pet” that I am, I was super happy when the anesthesiologist told my mom I did a really good job. Gold star for Kayla.
In the height of pain I zoned out and went through every trapeze trick I have ever done, visualizing what I looked like and hearing the commands. When that failed me I also sang in my head my favorite musical from childhood, “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat”.
I am okay now, my shoulder is still a bit sore from the procedure, so I decided not to go to yoga at all yesterday.
In my opinion this is not failing my challenge, because physically I cannot go to a yoga class in this condition, and ultimately I felt I still practiced what a class would have given me.
Ironic part of the procedure? While listening to showtunes in the MRI machine (I love how they give you a choice of music stations… and I love how I am probably the only person that picks the showtunes station) “What I Did for Love” from A Chorus Line came on. A song about getting injured doing something you love, in the show it is about what happens if your dance career is over. For me, it’s the song I’ve been singing to myself about performing and trapeze since I got injured. super freaky.
So 8 weeks later, I found out I have tendonitis in my right rotator cuff. The good news? I don’t need surgery. And physical therapy starts monday. the road to recovery begins
Back in the city at night I hung out with my bestie David before he headed back to the West Coast.
we enjoyed an INCREDIBLE meal at Red Bamboo, this delicious vegetarian restaurant in the village
above is my coconut “chicken”. delish. David had an asian “beef” dish which was also delish. Even though I eat chicken and turkey, I still really enjoy vegetarian food. My big suggestion is enjoy the dish for what it is, not what it is trying to imitate.
TODAY (Tuesday)
and today. I set my super early alarm, ambitiously hoping to go to early morning vinyasa at Yoga Vida. While I was wide awake and ready to go at 6:15, my arm is still a bit sore from the injection. I decided to wait and see if my arm is a bit less sore to do a yoga class tonight
Instead, I went to LaBlast and Pilates Fusion at Crunch Christopher street. I must say I was SUPER impressed with everything there. The gym is spread out and not crowded, the people in class were seriously the loveliest I have taken a group fitness class with recently, and Carol was awesome about making sure I was doing okay with my lame arm. Two thumbs up for this mornings sweat.
and now, tomorrows the big day! Turning 22 and graduating!
a lil’ sneaky peak at what’s in store:
I get to wear that… uh lovely… purple tent all week!
On the final friday of every school year my theater school has this huge pep-rally type event “All School” (and sometimes called “Final Friday”). The whole morning is spent celebrating and showing the work we’ve created all year. It felt super weird to finally be part of the senior farewell, while a part of me feels like it has been a very long 4 years, another part of me is in disbelief that I was one of the seniors today saying goodbye. The class of 2012 went out on a high note singing a parody to Les Miz’s “One Day More”, with the Les Miz march, flags, and all of us taking off our shirts at the end. oh theater school.
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YOGA CHALLENGE: DAY FOUR
Day Four was another class at Yoga Vida (yes, I am addicted, IT’S SO GOOD)
For whatever reason it was a super rough class for me. I’m not sure why, because it wasn’t super humid in the room and my arm was feeling decent. I was feeling a bit nauseous though, for no reason, and got distracted by that gross feeling. Such a bummer after having the most fantastic class yesterday. In the end though, it was definitely worth it to push through the yucky feeling. Each class I feel that I am able to self correct more and more, my body is learning these poses– something that was super foreign for me in January.
A common question is gym vs. studio yoga classes. I thoroughly enjoy both, but I think it is really hit miss on both ends. At my particular gym the yoga classes are very small and intimate so there is a lot of personalized attention and adjustments. The class I constantly go to, sunrise salutations, is taught by an incredibly knowledgeable instructor whom yoga is his passion. I know this is not true at all gyms– the yoga could be taught by someone less qualified in yoga and who has more of a fitness background. My gym also has a specific yoga room, which is nice because it is sound proof and very calming. A very different environment than the group fitness room. While overall I enjoy going to yoga at the gym, I find it is hit miss with the teachers, some I love, others I find their class long and painful to survive.
I haven’t gone to a lot of yoga studios– in Manhattan I think only Yoga to the People a few summers ago and Yoga Vida. The classes I have taken at these studios are much larger than at my gym. I like that there are a lot more options as far as times of day. Some studios offer a variety of styles, some specialize in one thing. The great thing with a yoga studio is that you can shop, especially because first classes are usually a good discounted price.
Overall I haven’t noticed a HUGE difference in the quality of the classes. This is probably very particular to Manhattan– in order for the gyms to keep many of their members, they have to offer top notch yoga. Ah, reasons to love Manhattan. I’ve already expressed my concerns about the lack of yoga and Whole Foods in westchester to my mother. how’s a gal gonna survive summer!?
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and the best part of my day? finding out that NYU has finally cleared me for graduation. this means May 16th I get to graduate AND wear my pretty new clothes.
Graduabirthday, here I come!
Today was my official last day of classes! What better way to end my college academic career than with presentations in the class “The Science of Happiness”. A happy bonus, the professor gave us extra credit for attending the last day of class. Happiness indeed!
YOGA CHALLENGE— Day Three
after finding out that a bunch of my co-workers aka my best friends would not be coming back to work this summer, my yoga class was much needed to calm me down from the mini freak out I was having. (buying new gym sneakers also helped calm me down….. I am a strong believe in retail therapy…. but yoga has more lasting benefits!)
I decided to try out Yoga Vida’s “Basic” class today out of curiosity. While I am not a totally clueless yogi, I am still new to practicing, know there are some fundamentals I could get stronger at with my poses, and wanted something a little less intense on my right arm. Before school this morning I had sweated it out hardcore in zumba and conditioning and knew my body would thank me for something a little bit more gentle.
The class was perfect, it wasn’t significantly different than the typical Yoga Vida class, but it was nice to have less students and more individualized attention. We even got adjustments during shavasana- a first for me at yoga vida. ahhh bliss.
The instructor, who I had never taken a class with, was really great about helping me make adjustments for my injury. I was happy that the class wasn’t too slow or watered down, it was still a fabulous stretch. I was shocked how quickly time flew by in this class. Back in the days of hating yoga, I felt like classes dragged on. I would constantly look at my watch counting down the minutes. This particular class was one of those “wait, we are already lying down? how can that be! that was too short!” kind of classes, which means it was an awesome class. I felt super focused on the yoga, not on all the other drama and sadness about summer.
what more can I ask for in life than a group of friends who would learn ridiculously cheesy dances choreographed by yours truly… on my best friend’s drive way AND willingly perform these cheesy dances in front of the whole camp the next day?
my beautiful friends, rocking our “burnt cinnamon” colored staff shirts.
These changes have definitely caught me off guard, and it’s a lot to think about along side the whole “ah I’m graduating college, life will never be the same” freakouts swirling around in my mind.
guess I just have to keep adjusting.
2 weeks til graduabirthday — my graduation and 22nd birthday all in one!
I may or may not be typing this as I am wearing my brand new dress I bought today for graduabirthday…..and my Mickey Mouse graduation cap………
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Today was Day Two of my 22 day Yoga Challenge !!!!!
Alarm goes off at 6:15AM. why god, why am I still getting up crazy early when I don’t have any plans til noon? Because I’m crazy and masochistic? No, no, because if I don’t go to yoga now I am not positive there will be time later in the day… and either way you love Amrit’s 7AM antics in Sunrise Salutation, no?
The class was worth the early wake up call, I mean really, it always is. My arm is still being bitchier than usual, I think it is because of all this rain and humidity. The class was super hot and schweddy and I was seriously working. I’ve been thinking a lot about music and yoga. At yoga vida all the instructors use music in the background, while the morning class I take at Crunch never has music. I love having music in the background, it gives me a focal point and quiets my own thoughts and “to-do lists”. However, a silent yoga class allows me to focus on my breath and body more. What do you prefer, silence or background music?
My focus was definitely better than yesterday, I felt more in the moment and connected to my breath. The biggest distraction today was my arm, I could feel Amrit’s eyes staring at my bent right arm– no I am not lazy, I am injured. 6 weeks of being injured actually….
It is weird when you are injured for that long of a period of time. This is my first real “injury” ever– I might have fractured my pinky this summer which hurt for a bit but didn’t alter my daily life. I’ve broken a toe here and there and have been seriously sore and achey from trapeze but nothing lasting until this
I now look at other people doing particular exercises and think “oh, I can’t do that because of my arm”. I look at people dancing and start modifying in my head how I would do it. My right arm has always been a slacker, I do everything left handed, and I always joked that my right arm was sort of a waste, but I take it back. I miss feeling even, not having to rely on one sides strength, and I miss the equality of having two strong arms. Most of all I miss feeling strong, I hate having to modify something not because I lack the strength and muscles, but because I physically cannot do it with a torn rotator cuff. This has definitely been a wake up call for me about how I treat my body, and how my “go go go” mentality has to slow down for this injury.
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Today was technically my first day of freedom. And I really do mean technically— I had a rehearsal early afternoon and still have to attend class tomorrow, but essentially I’M FREE I’M FREE I’M FREE!
I spent my first day of freedom doing a shopping marathon with my mama at bloomingdales and macy’s. we have a massive mission: buy a pair of wedge shoes & buy dresses for NYU graduation, Tisch graduation, my cousins wedding, my cousin’s pre wedding celebrations, and a dress for my friends bridal shower. Trying to cover all the requirements for those occasions with as few dresses a possible? definitely a challenge. But we did it!
Look at the beautiful shoes I gots:
Despite being rather short, I have never got the hang of wearing heels. Enter my new wedges! I am already obsessed and don’t have to worry about falling flat on my face during graduation!
After being a bit worried about finding not one but 2 graduation dresses that I would also be able to wear to other events, I am SO SO SO happy mama and I found everything today (and got some awesome sales). Can it please be graduabirthday already so I can rock these pretty dresses?
Day 2 of yoga challenge and successful shopping extravaganza, winning.
Oh, so, much, has happened today…..
For one, the weather went from one extreme to the other. Pouring rain and cold to sunny and warm. Thanks New York! At least it felt like spring for a portion of the day
—> Today began my 22 DAY YOGA CHALLENGE! What better way to start than with a late night class with one of my favorite instructors?
Thoughts from day one:
First of all I love doing yoga at 9pm. There is something very relaxing about using a class as the last thing I am going to do that day and using it as an opportunity to totally unwind. I felt very off tonight in class though, a bit jittery and unfocused. My arm has also been bothering me more than usual so I decided to take it easy on a few poses.
I started thinking about flexibility. For as long as I can remember my body has been less flexible than most. It has been a struggle for me in dance and flying. A teacher at college last year told me that there are two types of bodies, flexible bodies that will never look as muscular and there’s strong muscular ones that will never be as flexible. I believe my body composition reflects the latter.
Flexibility is more than my body though, it is a way of living life. I am not a flexible person in life either. I like schedule, follow rules and having an order to how I do things. When I stray from the schedule it gets me incredibly anxious. So I am not a very spontaneous person. If I said I was going to do homework during that block of time, I won’t take someone up on a dinner offer. If i said I was going to the gym during a specific time, I won’t change my plans for someone else. There are definitely positives and negatives to my inflexible but regimented way of life.
Some of this I think is unchangeable, it’s in my nature, but I want to try to exercise a bit more flexibility in my life. Every so often stray from the schedule. Be able to quickly adapt when things do not go according to plan. Something to think about and work on, as I am making my body more flexible, how can I also bring this into my mind.
So exciting that today is only the beginning.
—>Today was TONY NOM DAY! For the first time ever, I got to watch as the Tony Nominations for this year were announced. I am fully aware that the majority of the world could care less about these people, but for me they are my celebrities and superstars. And so begins Tony Season 2012! I personally am rooting loud for Peter and the Starcatcher, a beautiful, innovative and new play.
—> Today I took my final final EVER! this means I am [essentially] DONE WITH COLLEGE! say what? I am in shock that this day has come. I am finished with all homework—- all that’s left is a cabaret I am performing in for my program…. and graduation!
It is a weird feeling, essentially being done with college. It feels perfect to use a quote from Green Day’s “Holiday”. In the musical, this is when characters Johnny and Tunny leave suburbia behind for the city. I feel a similar sense of thrill to those characters– we don’t know what is in store for us as we move onto the next phase of life. and that feeling is terrifying and thrilling all at once.
Today was my last day of theater school. All Drama majors at NYU have studio three days a week. These three days are generally from 9am-6pm. This is where you take all the weird, non-academic classes—- acting, voice and speech, dance, movement, design, directing, playwriting… etc.
It is no secret that NYU is expensive. Real expensive. As my four years are coming to an end (I can’t decide if they went by too fast, or dragged on…. ) I can’t help but wonder is it all worth it?
And honestly, yes. There are some lessons I learned at NYU, at Tisch, at Playwrights Horizons Theater School that I could not have possibly learned anywhere else. Maybe if I was a normal major I’d be able to spout out some crazy psychology theories, math formulas and textbook facts.
But instead, this is what I’ve learned at college:
Bodies are beautiful– naked and clothed. Ah, the naked party. Before I even started NYU I heard about “naked parties”. In design class we are assigned to do nude sketches. These sketches could be of statues, but a few years ago the students decide why not sketch each other, naked. And thus naked party was born. What sounds like a sick twisted fantasy by some perverted, horny freshman is actually the most beautiful celebration. It is a writ of passage freshman year, and honestly one of the most powerful things I have done in my life. For the first time in my life I didn’t care about what my body looked like. We were all vulnerable, nervous and beautiful. For an uptight gal from Westchester, it was an incredibly freeing experience.
Collaboration 101. Sophomore year I was required to take a class “collaboration”. In this class I learned that 5 heads are better than one, when to fight for a good idea, and when to shut up and be a team player. This class has been one of the most useful and fruitful experiences for me at school, although at the time it was beyond frustration. I mean really, life is one big collaboration, no? there will always be leaders and team players. It was here that I learned about mixing and matching to make the best possibly final outcome.
I Can Survive on Very Little Sleep. ahhhhh second year. the year when no one sleeps. It was craziness– class til 6, rehearsals til midnight, and then that silly thing called homework before we did it all again. It was a year of involuntary sleep deprivation. I don’t recommend it to anyone, but I survived it. And i know I can survive similar situations in the future– like having kids. If I can survive second year, I sure as hell can survive anything.
How Beautiful it is to sweat at 8:30AM. African Dance, 8:30AM, freshman year. greatest. class. ever. I guess this was my beginning to realizing how lovely it is to sweat in the morning. this class jump started our day like no other.
How To Let Go. I’m not sure what class this happened in. or when it happened. or if it has fully even happened yet. but I know I am different. My jaw is less clenched, my views are less narrow, my eyes have been opened, and I feel a million times more free. I know in part this is because of the wackadoodle training I have received at this school
how to get what you want. if I have learned anything in my 4 years it is how to take your life into your own hands and GET WHAT YOU WANT. fight for the education you want to receive, complain when it is appropriate, gives thanks where it is deserved and most of all, I learned how to stand up for myself and what I wanted my education to be. My sophomore year I literally stood up in front of my parents, faculty and peers and gave one big “F- you” to the school when they truly deserved it. granted I came back the following year. But for a quiet girl who had never stood up for herself, it opened up a door to a part of me that had never been heard. Since then I have continued to stand up for myself and fight for what I want.
So thank you theater school for the blood, sweat, tears and weird education you have provided me.
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and reminder, tomorrow begins my 22 day yoga challenge! and tomorrow i take my class final of college. AHHHHHHH
There is nothing cozier and lovelier than going to yoga on a rainy day.
I let the weather intrude on my mood– this is probably the reason I wanted to go to school in Florida, Arizona or California where I could always psyche myself into a state of happiness because the weather is lovely. After the recent spring tease this draft of cold weather that has been accompanied by lots of school stress is definitely dampening my mood.
At the beginning of yoga class today the instructor discussed this correlation, how many of us were feeling lethargic because of the blah weather. Instead of feeling guilty about this “laziness” we should embrace it. In New York it is easy to feel the pressure to do more, push harder, and get more done, but sometimes we need to lay off and take it easier.
Every day I grow more and more frustrated with my injured arm. As someone who has never experienced a serious injury like this (just a broken toe here, a jammed finger there….) every day I feel it become more and more of a hinderance on my daily life. I want to be able to go all out in a zumba class, I want to be able to prove that I am one strong gal in a conditioning class, I want to prove that my warrior two can be all pretty in yoga class.
but I can’t, because I am injured. Instead I dance as hard as I can, but with my right arm at my side, modify exercises in a conditioning class, and lower my right arm in Warrior Two.
Like the weather slowing us down, maybe my arm is trying to do that same. Yes, I live a highly active life. Yes, I do more physical activity than most 21 year olds I know. Perhaps injuring my arm during a trapeze class was sent as a wake up call for me to slow down. You don’t have to always prove you are the strongest girl, the best most intense dancer, or the perfect yogi. You can just be. As a perfectionist and overachiever this drives me crazy. There is this feeling of disgust and laziness that comes over me when I modify whatever exercise I am supposed to be doing at the gym, in dance class, or during yoga.
I need this reminder that I am not lazy. Slowing down is not laziness. Listening to your body is not laziness. Possibly having a torn rotator cuff is not laziness.
It is okay to slow down.
sometimes you feel like you are an arms length away from your dream. Literally.
Last night I performed at the Mariott Marquis in Time Square for the star studded NYU Alums. I sang and danced on stage with actors who I saw on Broadway only a few months ago. Michael Mayer, director of American Idiot and Spring Awakening was lip syncing along with us while we sang “Our Time”.
Sometimes it feels so far away, feeling like you are never going to “make it”, like no one is ever going to pay to listen to you sing. But last night, it was all only an arms reach away.
As I left my house yesterday to return to the city, I couldn’t help but think the next time I’m there I’ll be 22 and a college graduate– craziness
After finishing our unit on Goals in my Happiness class, I’ve started thinking about some short term goals– things I want to achieve before I graduate and things I want to do before moving back to Westchester for the summer. Since I already have a bunch of other goals and resolutions that I have started to tackle this semester, I’ve divided it up into “Drop, Gain, Maintain”– habits and behaviors I want to drop, habits and behaviors I want to gain or things I want to train, and things that I already do and want to continue doing.
Drop
-Eating unhealthily when I am out with other people.
-Procrastinating going to bed for no reason. Turn the computer off and GO TO BED.
-Reverting to delivery and take out out of pure laziness
-Buying food that goes bad before I eat it
Gain
-Find more dishes that I can cook all the time— my speciality is still pancakes, but it’s a start.
-Take a class at Physique 57
-Take Hot Yoga at Crunch
-Take Hot Yoga at Moksha
-Run outdoors in Central Park
– TRAPEZE CLASS. I feel a bit homeless since the indoor rig closed, but I am determined to take trapeze classes before graduating
Maintain
-Morning work outs– 6:15AM Mon, Tues, Wed… not too shabby!
-No peanut butter out of the jar
-“just do it” mentality
-continue doing Yoga– I went every day last week, I never would have imagined having the focus and calm to do that last semester.
-reading before bed more often than watching TV
– my odd food rules, such as not having every meal contain bread (for me that IS a challenge) and only having 1 bagel per week,
hope everyone had a lovely holiday weekend, both sides of my family had 25 people at sedar… that’s over 50 family members in less than 24 hours. A bit loud and overwhelming, but also awesome to get to spend time celebrating Passover with that many family members.
here’s to the final days before 22 and graduating!
Kayla in the City 